You are 16 years old and you want
to start a life of your own. Or you are an immigrant and have access to
internet and are reading this note. Or you are a newly-settled American. You do
need a navigation console. You know, a mother board on which are these
hair-thin size capacitors with different directional purposes. Or a solid dash
board on which are buttons to press to satisfy a given need.
Needs! Talking of needs! What would
be the greatest single most satisfaction one needs to get immediately as a person
wishing to strike out on their own? Some would say shelter. Others would say
food. Yet others would say clothes and food. I would say all three. I would
also quickly add: friends, people or a welcoming unit of persons who are
willing to share a space in their home. A home is crucial. It is a launch-pad
for many to think straight and figuring out America.
As a person living with others,
you need to know or develop people-to-people skills: These are very core,
dependable and soft skills: You may be living with persons who have perhaps
lived their life following a certain pattern. Study it and also engage them in
a conversation. Using the same space, ask about your hosts plans for the next
day. Share with them what you intend to do. Also using this same opportunity,
inquire whether they have something they want you to do around the house or
home or hostel. If they say they have nothing they have thought about, tell
them you are ready to do something once there is any opportunity for a helping
hand.
If you do have opportunities to
jog, walk or do exercises get to understand your environment outside the home.
Be like the territorial animal that marks boundaries. But, in your case it will
be marking out land-marks. This will help you know the area even batter.
Get to know what other things are
based on to lead a life. I have a list for you. This list will inform the way
you perceive America or plan to lead your life in America:
Insurance: to cover your health
needs. There is need for you to be immunized. Without insurance and with the
long list of what America requires one to be immunized against, it cost me USD
500 (March 2013). One thing you have to note is; avoid the so called soliciting
agents claiming to represent an insurance company. Look for credible insurance
companies for services.
Wireless/Internet: This may be a
combined service with TV, Phone and internet. But, you may have one package you
need to pay for regularly to avoid being cut off. Beware of the internet and
telephone-based scam in form of letters and deals promising you gifts but “that
before you get the gift you need to send money.”
Mortgage: Get to learn about
mortgage and owning a house of your own. Read the literature and ask around. Be
inquisitive and learn how the real estate performs. This may help you know
trends.
Education: You may be a graduate
or educated up to a certain level from your country. There is a facility in
America that grades the qualifications from other countries. The best place to
start with is a university of high school near you that you feel you want to
join. Most American cities have community support centers where they give
counselling and advice in these matters. Visit such places as part of your
learning America. Many universities have on-line courses. Register for them.
Most are free. Those that require a fee will inform you about it. Beware there
are also scams here. Many on-line High School Diploma internet based services
are suspect. Be very cautious. They are called “Diploma mills”!
The Library: Register and be a
member of a library near you.
Hair cut: Make friends and get to
know which hair cut would do a good job with your face, nails and general
grooming.
In-door sports: There gymnasiums
that require a membership fee to be paid. Try them and enrol. It is good (in
fact, imperative) to exercise.
Clothes: Dress to preserve
dignity but also as a code of good conduct. Get to know where particular clothes
you need are sold.
Energy/Weatherization: Get to
know the weather in America. Conserve energy and life.
Gas and Water: Do you know that
there are bills as a result of use of water and gas? Adopt a conservative and
judicious approach to their use.
Entertainment: The books, radio
at home or TV may be the first source of entertainment. Or your source of
entertainment could be the conversation at table during dinner or a meal. Share your expectations with your hosts.
Share your likes and dislikes of various films, novels and plays (drama). Ask
and learn if you do not know the different genres. Do you know that there is
Rock, rumba, salsa, Cuban, blues, oldies, country, thrillers, opera,
tragedies....I could go on and on. Get to learn the genres. You could be adept
at the instruments or story-telling. Show off your talents. Get to enjoy the
home you are living in.
Groceries: Do you know the
different kinds of groceries you use at home? Do you know how they are
prepared? Get to learn and explore.
Membership: There are must be
things that connect you to a given community. Is it the way you stand at the
side of the road as the car passes you on a narrow road? Is it the wave at the
next door person? Do something about how you are perceived once you are out of
the home. This American homes with large windows; this is what they say about
them. An American’s house is his watch tower as much as an Englishman’s house
is his castle.
Miscellaneous/unbudgeted: Have
you ever gone shopping and realized you needed something but it was not
budgeted for? Or have you ever gone out and never planned on helping a stray
cat get back to its owner, yet you have that bus to catch? That is how tricky
life is. Expect surprises and no mercy.
Connections: Get connected, make
friends, keep friends, join a church or mosque or temple group or some form of
social group (you may be atheist for all I know and am not pointing a figure. That
is between you and you). Do you know that I watched my parents die and at a
very tender age was left to become the child -head of a house-hold of 13
people? Do you also know I struggled to get them to school and I only read
their notes and asked them to be my teachers to compensate for my education? Do
you know that now am at Harvard University? Okay if you ask me I shall tell you
the story. But for now, be well.
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